Girls Gone Zen

"How many people here have spiritual friends?", asked the man sitting in front of the Buddha hall, dressed in a robe so bright, yellow, and screaming of NOT Soto Zen tradition. With a simple and powerful question, he stirred in me an elation and my wandering mind stood still.

Immediately I thought of 99, of Jennifer, and of the other handful of friends with whom I have had sincere discussions on Zen & Life and all that fuzzy stuff. On desires, expectations, afflictive emotions, and most of all... on how to be happy. It struck me how fortunate I am to have company in starting on this path, without which I'd probably lose motivation and courage, and probably wouldn't be sitting in this lecture on a Saturday morning. Having them, my peers, kept the practice..well, practical, realistic, and do-able. I didn't have to feel like a freak (or are we all freaks? ), or ridiculously pathetic for searching for meaning, trying to find a sustainable mental way to live. It's good not to be alone.

But make no mistake, me and my spiritual friends have not always been Perfect to each other. Some times we neglect each other and don't talk for a long time. Some times there are misunderstandings and expectations that don't match up. And it's chewed me up inside before, unable to comprehend why this would happen to somebody who is suppose to know me. What happened to the good times?

The monk in the yellow robe said, "A lot of people, when they start sitting & meditating, they think, 'wow, this is GREAT. I am going to do this all the time and become enlightened!'" He calls it the Honeymoon period of Zen- a period of euphoria and unparalleled enthusiasm. That is, until the novelty wears off and you find yourself sitting for hours and even days in the middle of no where... and you tire of it. You can't seem to find that same blissfulness. You can't help but wonder, where has it gone?

And so it goes with anything in life, ANYTHING, not just Zen practice. I know so well the rush of getting close to a new friend, meeting a new love, or having that spiritual conversation with some one for the very first time. It's all oh-so-promising and, honestly, perfectly fine to enjoy to the fullest. But, also accept that things cannot always be picture perfect. You rub shoulders with each other long enough, friction is bound to happen. That is the true test and a wonderful dose of reality. I say wonderful because when the road blocks sit squarely on our paths, and I still want to dig through the crap, I know for certain that love is here to stay.

To my spiritual friends, I miss you!